matacahaya!

Everyone are coming.
Everyone are multiplying.
Gathered. Make a crowds.
But where are you?

Berharap

Hari ini. Menumpahkan rasa cinta kepada biru yang jengah melirik pada sudut ruang. Memuja pada malu, bisu dan bibir merah basah yang tersenyum bergairah.

Aku berharap pada bulan yang menggantung jingga di antara awan kelabu. Sebentar lagi hujan. Mari bergegas. Tegas. Tidak. Tidak ingin bulan ini menangis lagi lalu butiran air mata berlian berjatuhan sia-sia.

Pada tanah basah. Pada mata basah. Pada hati kaku merana terbuai kesedihan. Aku berharap pada bulan. Suci

Bernafas

Ya Allah..biarkan aku bernafas.Please…

Berdoa

KepadaMu.
Ku memohon kepadaMu.
Malam ini di hari ketiga.
Biarkan Dia tetap ada.

Berkelana

Pikiran-pikiran liarku berkelana.
Meringkuk membentuk bola salju.
Berputar semakin besar.
Membentuk sebuah harapan.
Ini hari keempat.

Kematian

Lalu ia pergi.
Pagi ini. Dalam guncang gemetar.
Lalu Tangisan.
Mati.

Maybe it wasn’t me.
Maybe I should blame that second person I became
That personality we shared together.
I won’t know what to say sometimes.
But I say something anyway.

This isn’t me.
This is not you either.
I’ll be late, you’ll come early.
Today I did the best I could do.
Not because I wanted to. It’s because I had to.

I’ll be back.
I promise.
I love you

Her :
I thought I am not those girls who choose to stay in pain anymore. I thought the whole phase of “I am depressed-no one understand me-I am so fucking alone” has passed me. But guessed I am wrong. Now after two solid years, after all ups and down, cries and laughs. I know that feeling still there. I still sad. I still am.

Me :
You know I am trying. I was trying so hard. I always back again on a split second after disappointment number fifty. Nevertheless my plastic smile melted on a burning fire. I felt it too, the burning sensation on my heart.

Her :
So was me. And yet again you are lucky. He loves you repeatedly. A habit too wonderful I thought of as something I could never receive. The winner in me came to the surface just to sensibility his love. I know my presence would make you feel that burning sensation. But, I am someone living in. My wound still bleeding and throbbing.

Me :
I know you’re there. I know we’re both trying. I know you’ll be more suffering for me. That’s made you part of me. The one that makes me want to follow you. That’s made you mine.

*photo taken from pinkumbrella14 without her permission

It’s October 8th 2006, one month a go when we are on the phone. Talking about the reason why I should avoid you.

And later on I know that you were born on an 18 of May 1982. While, I was born on June 28, 1982.

October 8, 2006
May 18, 1982
June 28, 1982
Do you believe in numerology?

I want to blog something other than that number. And off course the will to avoid you itself ruins every number i counted.

I love to laugh out loud when you tell me the silly matter about fallin in love.

My superstitious thought about the “8” things

The hardest part of them all, oh well! your crazy brown eyes looking at me and says! “we’re a baby on 8″